


I am who I am

by Bl4ckHunter



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crisis on Earth-X, F/M, Not for fans of Iris West, Not for fans of WestAllen, Reality check, different outcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:29:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23972263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/pseuds/Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot story. After a different outcome of Barry's confrontation with Thawne in Crisis on Earth-X, Barry gives Joe and Iris a reality check. Not for fans of Iris West or Joe West.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Iris West, Barry Allen & Joe West
Comments: 3
Kudos: 67





	I am who I am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aragorn_II_Elessar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/gifts), [Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen/gifts), [Phillipe363](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillipe363/gifts).



> Something that occured to me after going over some of my older stories.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own DC Comics or the CW TV shows Arrow, The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl or any other characters or elements pertaining to the mentioned franchises.

The Flash pinned Thawne to a pillar as he vibrated his hand. "Come on, end it. End it!" Thawne yelled, goading Barry as he put his hand down. "What's stopping you?" Thawne gapped mockingly. "Oh, I forgot, Barry Allen is above killing. Isn't that right? Well, I guess all you can do, is let me go. And then I'll come back and I'm going to kill Iris, Caitlin, Cisco, everyone you—"

Barry roared, glaring at Thawne in rage as Thawne stilled, blood filling his mouth and it was in that moment, when Barry noticed that his hand was vibrating and inside Thawne's chest as he pulled away, while Thawne slumped against the pillar.

"I didn't think you would do this…" Thawne laughed hoarsely. "How does it feel, Barry? That you've sunken to my level now. Like I told you… I always win… Flash…" He tilted his head, staring without seeing and Barry was rooted to where he had been standing, shock filling him as he realized what he had done.

The battle with the Earth-Xers seemed like a distant echo to Barry as he stared at the corpse of his nemesis, realizing he had sunken to his level.

* * *

Later, after the battle against the Nazis from Earth-X was finished, Barry just stared at the distance, while Iris and Joe approached him.

"Barry, can we talk?" Iris asked.

"If this is about Thawne—"

"You killed him. I never thought you'd stoop so low." Iris said.

"Look, what Iris is trying to say is that this isn't what you usually do." Joe intervened. "What exactly happened?"

Barry sighed and took a breath. "I had Thawne dead to rights. I couldn't bring myself to end him at first but then… I guess he got the better of me. He just knew which buttons to push and I just… snapped."

Joe considered before nodding. "OK… I can understand that."

"So, what, if someone pushes too hard, you're gonna kill them? This is not what you do." Iris said.

"Look, I'm not any happy about killing Thawne than you are but I don't regret it. If it means that he's not going to hurt anyone, ever again, I'm fine with it." Barry snapped and Iris was taken aback. "You don't like it, fine. But you don't get to tell me what kind of hero I should be. It's not like I had another choice. What else was I supposed to do? Let him go, so that he could make our lives living hell later? How many times and in how many ways has Thawne ruined our lives? Besides, you don't get to say what I should do. All you've been doing, since I came back, was ordering me, Caitlin and Cisco around like lackeys and disrespecting us and not treating us like equal and from what they told me, they didn't vote you as a leader.

You said that our relationship was tainted because I purposed to you, mainly to save you. I get that you wanted to call off the engagement after finding that out but right after Savitar almost beat me to death and tricked Wally into trapping himself in the Speed Force?" Iris gulped, having the decency to look ashamed as she reeled back. "And you blaming Joe for not telling you that I'm the Flash, when Thawne took Eddie, when it was not our fault and it might not have made any difference. What could you have done against Thawne, if you had known who I am?" Iris opened and closed her mouth few times but no sound came out. "Exactly. Nothing."

Joe tried to intervene. "Barry, come on, she was angry and upset—"

"Or how about that time when she blamed me for leaving you without discussing her, when we were in the couples' therapy, when you knew I could say nothing in my defense without revealing my secret to the therapist." Barry glared at Iris, who was about to open her mouth before he continued, not giving her a chance to say something to argue. "One thing you seem to forget, is that the entire world was about to be ripped apart by the Speed Force. You think there was time for discussion? And it wasn't your choice to make, whether I'd go or not! Would you really choose me over the entire world?" Barry sneered and Iris knew she had nothing to say in her defense.

"Oliver once told me that when he was fighting Ra's al Ghul and the police was about to shoot him down, Felicity told Ray to go save his life, when he was working on a cure for Alpha/Omega that would save the entire city and she told him to choose one man she cared about, against a city of innocent people. You and Felicity are the same. Selfish and caring about yourselves, not seeing that it's not only about you and you'd rather if me and Oliver were these perfect pictures of who you want us to be, rather than accept who we really are." Barry said.

"I am who I am and you don't get to change that. If you don't like what I do, you have a right to but don't think I'm just gonna roll over and listen to your every whim and have no backbone." Barry then turned to Joe. "Look, I am not Oliver. I don't kill every single guy I face and you treated Oliver like a serial killer, but most of his kills were in self-defense and it's not like he has killed every single scumbag he's faced." He pointed out and Joe stilled, considering. "Oliver once told me, 'Either you're willing to do whatever it takes to save lives, or you should not be out there at all.' I'm not happy that I killed Thawne but if it means that no one is going to get hurt because of him after how he ruined our lives, I can live with it. If you don't… then I'm ashamed that I ever called either one of you my family."

Barry sneered in disgust before leaving and Iris stared, letting what he had said, sink in, starting to realize the selfishness of her actions as he walked off and she had the decency to look ashamed and Joe considered, starting to see Barry's points.

**Author's Note:**

> Barry letting Thawne go in Crisis on Earth-X made no sense at all and it was stupid beyond measures. Either he could have knocked Thawne out and lock him up in the Pipeline or trap him in the Speed Force, like how Savitar did it with Wally.
> 
> And it's annoying how Joe, like in the first crossover, or Iris, like in Elseworlds, act like if Oliver was this ruthless brutal serial killer, when Oliver was only willing to go to extreme. And everything I've wanted to say about Barry/Iris, has already been said here. I like Joe but I don't like him being a judgmental ass to Oliver or being a WestAllen counselor, which itself makes little sense due to the father/son bond between Joe and Barry and he didn't even approve of Barry/Iris at first due to Iris dating Eddie and basically cheating on him.
> 
> Any flames or complaints or anything in defense of Iris, if I will find the defense stupid and ridiculous, will be ignored and deleted. I didn't write this because I dislike Iris, even though I do not deny it, (I admit I've softened around her in Season 6) but because like I've said, Barry letting Thawne go in the crossover was stupid and I can easily see Joe and Iris having problem with Barry killing him. And let's face it, it's not the first time Barry has killed someone but The Flash likes to pretend that Barry's hands are clean of blood, while Oliver is a murderer. Examples being Atom Smasher, Sand Demon or Zoom, yet that is all shrugged off like nothing, because Barry is this saint, whose hands are clean and never kills, whereas Oliver is a ruthless monster, according to the showrunners.
> 
> So, what do you guys think?
> 
> Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.
> 
> With regards
> 
> Bl4ckHunter


End file.
